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Nailing Down Your Wedding Guest List Without Losing Your Mind:Who's In and Who's Out

So, you’ve found your forever plus-one, and now it’s time to tackle that beast known as the wedding guest list. Think of this less like a task and more like crafting the ultimate VIP list for the party of your lifetime. It's the who’s who of your big day, and let me tell you, it's more loaded than a Thanksgiving dinner table.


Who to invite, who not to invite, plus ones, kids - it can be a major source of drama and stress. You want your special day to be filled with the people you love, but not break the bank or create issues. Let's talk tips and tricks for crafting the perfect guest list that celebrates your love without any unwanted craziness. We'll discuss how to make those tough calls on invites, handle family demands and expectations, set budget-friendly limits, and more. You worked hard to find "the one" - now let's make sure your wedding day guest list is filled with your VIPs.


Crafting this list isn’t just about throwing names on a spreadsheet; it’s about navigating a minefield of family dynamics, friendship politics, and that aunt you haven’t seen since you were five. But why is this so crucial, you ask? Because who you invite shapes your day more than any flower arrangement or playlist ever could. It’s about creating an atmosphere that’s unmistakably you.


Gorgeous tuscan theme wedding table, outside with lemons and olive runner
Who will fill the seats at your tables? Use your guest list to ensure you're surrounded by those you love most.

Understanding Your Budget, Vision & Priorities


You’ll hear me talk about establishing your Budget, Vision and Priorities—or what I call your BVP for short. - over and over (and over) again. This trio isn't just a mantra; it's the foundation of effective, meaningful wedding planning. Before you dive into any detail—no matter how minor—ensuring your BVP is clearly defined is essential. It acts as your north star, guiding every decision and ensuring each choice reflects what truly matters to you.


Now, let's talk about putting this into action, especially when starting with your guest list and venue selection. As you begin drafting your initial guest list, it's time to solidify your BVP These elements should evolve in tandem, with your BVP continuously shaping and refining your guest list. This is crucial as you approach one of the most significant decisions in your planning journey: choosing a venue.


Why? Because your venue choice should not only embody your vision and respect your budget but also accommodate your guest list within its capacity constraints. Likewise, catering costs, which are often calculated per guest, may further influence your guest list decisions. If the cost per head nudges you over budget, it might necessitate tough choices about who can be included.


In essence, integrating your BVP from the outset ensures that major decisions—like venue selection—are made thoughtfully, aligning with your overall wedding goals. It’s about making informed choices that resonate with your vision, stay within your financial boundaries, and honor your priorities, including who you share your special day with.


By treating BVP as your guiding principle and applying it diligently as you navigate through planning, you'll find clarity and direction in every turn, ensuring that your wedding truly reflects the unique story and bond you share with your partner.


Key considerations as you think through who will share your day:


  • Size Matters: Is your big day an intimate affair with your nearest and dearest or a blowout bash with everyone you know? 

  • Dollars and Sense: Each guest costs $$$ — from their dinner plate to the chair they warm.  Before you dream up a guest list longer than a CVS receipt, make sure your expectations are based in reality. 


  • Venue Vibes: Dreaming of a particular kind of venue? Is it a cozy rooftop spot that would max out at 40 guests or a sprawling farmstead that could accommodate the whole county?


Beautiful luxury micro-wedding outside, with all white flower arch in park setting.
Small doesn't always mean less. Having a smaller guest list can offer hosts the opportunity to go big in other ways

Building The Wedding Guest List 1.0


Now that we have a solid understanding of how your BVP plays a vital role in planning, let’s move on to the actual guest list, shall we?


To start, sit down with your partner to brainstorm everyone you might want to invite to celebrate your big day. Don’t filter anyone out just yet. Just make a big list in Google Sheets or Excel, something with multiple columns and handy count feature. List everyone who you would realistically consider inviting: family, friends, cousins, your work wife, college friends, old friends, colleagues, etc. Also think through anyone who you may feel obligated to invite: coworkers, bosses, your mom's aunt, Mary, etc. You may want to build your list strategically.


Think of those closest to you and work your way out:


  • For family, include parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. Don’t forget about “bonus” family like step-parents, step siblings, etc.

  • For friends, think of close friends from school, college, work, church or your neighborhood. Also include friends of your parents or siblings that you’re close with.

  • For coworkers, consider inviting only managers and coworkers you interact with regularly. 

  • Don’t forget to consider everyone’s kids! You’ll need to decide if you want to invite children but until you make that final call make sure you count the little ones as they can have a drastic impact on your guest count. (We’ll get into the kids v no kids discussion a bit later.)

  • At this point, include a plus one for every adult. For example: If your list includes Tim, Melissa, and Mark from work, put them down for 6 guests total. (We’re going to discuss plus ones later as well, so don’t start sweating just yet.)


Once you and your partner both have your master lists, go ahead and combine them into a single document. We recommend you still keep guests categorized by who they belong to (yours/theirs, his/hers). You'll want to compare the lists to see if you have anyone on both lists, which you probably do unless you both live in little bubbles and don't have any mutual friends. Take those overlapping friends, and place them in a third category strictly for mutual invitees. Once you’ve reached this point, tally up the entire list, and you’ve completed step one - You now have your maximum total guest count! Or as we call it, your Wedding Guest List 1.0!


Next, we’re going to delve into how to get to Wedding Guest List 2.0 by making edits and potentially scaling back your your list to get in sync with your BVP. But before you begin that task, we feel it's important to discuss social obligations and expectations, so you have some context in terms of what’s appropriate when trying to make your edits.


colorful group of young friends at a wedding with adorable bride- artsy wedding
Whether a grand affair or micro love fest, the size of your guest list should reflect your vision for your wedding

Navigating Social Obligations and Expectations


When crafting your wedding guest list, the interplay of social obligations and personal wishes often takes center stage. Balancing these elements requires a mix of tact, honesty, and a firm grasp of your wedding vision.


Dealing with Pressure from Families:


Families have opinions, lots of them. Navigating this minefield requires a blend of diplomacy and firmness — remember, it’s your day, not a family reunion from 1995. It's common for family members to have their own ideas about who should be invited, and if your parents are paying for a large extravagant affair, you should definitely sit down to hear them out. In fact, any one who is contributing to your event financially, should be granted the respect of your time and consideration. However, if paying for your own affair, be confident in knowing that you have the final say on your guest list. Either way, navigating these conversations involves open communication about your vision and limitations, and ensuring you acknowledge their suggestions while making decisions that best fit your wedding plans.


Professional and Social Circles:


Inviting work friends can be tricky. The question of whether to invite colleagues and acquaintances depends largely on your relationship's depth outside the professional environment. This decision also hinges on your wedding's size and nature, balancing your social circles with the intimate atmosphere you may wish to create. My rule? If you wouldn’t share a pizza with them on a bad day, maybe save the wedding invite for someone else.


Cultural and Traditional Expectations:


Every family has its traditions, and sometimes they dictate your guest list more than you’d like. Depending on your situation, cultural norms and family traditions play a significant role in shaping your guest list. Some cultures value large, family-centric celebrations, making it essential to weave these expectations thoughtfully into your wedding plans.  Finding a balance between honoring these and keeping true to your vision is key. It’s your wedding, after all — not a family reunion. With that in mind, feel free to break any traditions that don't resonate with you, but be sure to do it with tact and feeling. You may need to have some heart felt conversations with those you love most in the world.


Long wedding reception tables with cross back chairs. large wedding.
Going big before going home married? Scale back your guest list with the A/B Strategy before your list balloons.

Creating Wedding Guest List 2.0 Using the A/B Strategy


The A/B list strategy is a methodical approach to categorizing potential wedding guests based on their closeness to you and your partner. It’s the perfect blend of heart and practicality, ensuring that you honor those closest to you while staying within the bounds of your budget and venue size. It involves creating three distinct lists: the A-list for must-have attendees, the B-list for those you would love to invite if circumstances allow, and the C-list for guests you would like to inviting under ideal conditions. This strategy is crucial for managing your guest list effectively, ensuring you prioritize people who are most important to you while navigating budget and venue capacity constraints.


Why The Strategy Works So Well:


Navigating the guest list for modern weddings is all about striking a balance between what you wish for and what's feasible. This is where the A/B list strategy shines, giving couples the ability to prioritize their key relationships without stretching their resources too thin.


This approach is brilliantly adaptable, too. Life's full of surprises, and as your planning unfolds—be it a shift in finances or finding out your dream venue can hold a few more people—you'll have the flexibility to tweak your guest list. The beauty of having a sorted list is that it prepares you for the unexpected, allowing you to extend invitations to more loved ones if the opportunity arises.


It's not uncommon for couples to reach out to their C-list friends with joyful, last-minute invites. Old friends and work colleagues are typically tickled to get a message like, “Hey there! So, it turns out we have a bit more room than we thought for our May 1st wedding. We had to be super selective initially because of our huge families, but, as luck would have it, a bunch of our cousins can no longer make it. We’d be over the moon to have you celebrate with us!” This approach turns a practical decision into a heartwarming opportunity, making those on the receiving end feel truly valued and included.


But we've gotten ahead of ourselves. Let's breakdown the strategy and how it works!


Step By Step Guide to Using the A/B List Strategy


In your spread sheet with your big, unedited guest list, go ahead and begin labeling each guest according to the category in which they fall: A, B, or C.


Give Me An A:

These are the folks who’ve been in your corner since day one. If they’re not there, is it even your wedding? Start here and guard this list with your life. Your A listers are your non-negotiables: immediate family members and best friends whose presence is absolutely essential. Criteria for the A-list should focus on emotional closeness and the significance of these individuals in your life.


Ensure no essential person is overlooked by revisiting significant life moments and considering who played key roles in those times. While you might have 20 friends from college, you may have only 3 who have helped you moved from downtown to that fifth floor walk-up after graduation. Maybe those 3 deserve to be elevated to the A list, while the rest of the crew can hang back with the Bs. This is especially important in the case of small venues or small budgets, and in large, family-centric affairs.


Building Your B-List:


The B-list should include extended family members and friends you're not as close with but would still love to celebrate with. B-listers are amazing but just outside your wedding’s starting lineup due to budget or space. It’s the people you really would love to have there, but they have to come after the ride or die crew.


Not everything is black and white and it’s important to realize that everything is relevant. Someone could be a B, but on the cusp of being and A; while others are a B, but closer to a C if you really had to prioritize. If you’re still struggling with who to put in this category we’ve put together a list of a few of the usual suspects to help guide you:


  • Extended Family Squad: Alllll those cousins.

  • Past Pals: Your college roommate, or anyone who knew you when bangs were a good idea.

  • Work Buddies: Those colleagues who've shared more than just a printer with you, and the ones you actually miss during weekends.

  • Neighborly Friends: The folks next door who've watched Rover while you went to Hawaii last year.

  • Hobby Homies: Members of your book club, yoga class, or fantasy football league who’ve seen you sweat, stress, and triumph.

  • Family Friends: The people your folks invite over for barbecues, who've watched you grow up but haven’t exactly been part of your journey.

Considering Your C-List:

C-listers are acquaintances or distant relatives you would invite in an ideal world without constraints. The C-list offers a reserve of potential invitees to consider as your planning progresses and details become clearer. If your budget and space allow- go ahead and invite them. But if not, then don’t stress. You may have the opportunity to invite them if RSVPs allow. Who is on the C list exactly? Well, it depends on how strict or open you were on your A and B lists, but typically this group is comprised of:


  • Distant Relatives: Those relatives you're pretty sure are related... somehow. They emerge out of the woodwork with wedding invites and family picnics.

  • Networking Nods: Work friends, but not your work spouse; People from jobs you've left behind but still remember fondly

  • B-Listers’ Plus-Ones: Significant others of your B-listers 

  • Parental Pals: Your parents’ friends who've been a steady presence in the background of your life.


Feeling bad about cuts is normal, but remember, you’re planning a wedding, not running for public office. You can’t please everyone, and that’s okay.


Beautiful beach wedding with happy bride and groom walking on the sand..
Not everybody can be invited. But making cuts can be done in way that is classy and compassionate.

The Plus One Predicament: Who Gets a Guest?


So, you’ve probably seen that age-old advice plastered across every wedding planning guide: “Whatever you do, be sure to be consistent with your plus-one policy so there are no hurt feelings.” 


Well, I don't buy that.

And you shouldn't either. 


Here’s why:


Treating your ride-or-die A-listers the same as your I-met-her-once at-a-family-reunion C-listers just doesn’t sit right. Your childhood bestie, the one who’s been your rock since braces and bad haircuts, absolutely deserves a plus-one, fresh romance or not. Why? Because her support means the world to you, and her happiness and comfort at your celebration are something you value. But this golden rule doesn't automatically extend to distant cousin Tina. Yes, Tina - or was it Trina? That cousin who you barely remember who has had the same boyfriend since college. The gist? Consistency is great and all, but context is king.


So how do you decided who get’s a plus one? What’s the criteria? Well, the chatter in the wedding world often goes something like, “No ring? No plus-one.” Or the classic, “It’s your day; you don’t owe anyone a plus-one.”


Well guess what. I’m not buying that either.


Here’s a bit of real talk: Yes, it’s your wedding, and yes, you’re juggling a budget tighter than skinny jeans. But here’s the twist—hosting a wedding isn’t just about you and your good time; it’s about crafting an experience that’s soaked in love, laughter, and communal joy. Sure, it’s your spotlight moment, but what’s a celebration without people to share the dance floor, crack jokes, and toast to your happiness? 


"The gist? Consistency is great and all, but context is king."

So, here’s the lowdown: aiming to be the host with the most doesn’t mean granting a plus-one to every single guest. Instead, it’s about making thoughtful, heart-led decisions that ensure your wedding is as inclusive and joyful as possible, without turning you into a spreadsheet-wrangling, budget-busting bridezilla. It’s about striking that delicate balance between being a gracious host and sticking to your vision and limits. 


Opting out of allowing plus-ones at your wedding might seem like a straightforward way to manage numbers and costs, but it's a decision woven with unintended consequences. Imagine an invitee feeling so daunted by the prospect of attending alone that they decide not to come at all. Or consider those who do show up, carrying a touch of disappointment or feeling slightly overlooked because they couldn't bring a guest. The scene becomes even more poignant when slow songs fill the air, and they find themselves anchored to their seat with nobody to share a dance. It's a solitary experience that doesn't align with the vibrant, inclusive celebration you're working so hard to create.


After all, your wedding is not just an event but an experience—one that should be filled with joy, connection, and unforgettable dance floor moments. By sidelining plus-ones, you might inadvertently dampen the festive spirit, affecting not just the individual experiences of your guests but the collective energy of your special day. You're aiming for a wedding that's as memorable for the warmth and fun it offers as it is for its beautiful moments, and ensuring everyone has someone to share it with can be a key part of making that happen.


Bride having a great time at her wedding laughing.
Your Day, Your Way. But always remember to respect and honor those who show up for you.


The Loaded Question: Kids or No Kids


Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding is a big decision that many couples struggle with. On the one hand, not inviting kids means you’ll likely have a more adult focused celebration. On the other hand, inviting children, especially if they’re close family, means you can include them in your special day. At the end of the day, this decision comes down to you and your fiancé’s preferences, budget and vision for your wedding day. 


Sometimes, the best guidance comes from personal stories, so I'm going to share a bit of mine, particularly about why we chose an adults-only wedding. It wasn't that I don't adore my nieces and nephew, or that I was opposed to a bunch of kids crushing it on the dance floor. The decision to not include children at our wedding stemmed from a desire my husband and I shared for a laid-back, adult-centric celebration. Given our busy lives—filled with demanding jobs, family responsibilities, and the usual hustle—it's rare for us to enjoy uninterrupted time with our closest friends. Our wedding was our chance to relish in this adult company, to engage in conversations without the background soundtrack of disputes over iPads, snack negotiations, or mediating minor squabbles. We wanted it to be late. We wanted it to be loud. And it was. Blissfully...Those five hours of uninterrupted "adult time" were a treasure, allowing us and our guests to truly unwind, and let loose in a way we had not been able to in years, and may not ever again. That night is a priceless memory that we cherish.


Whichever route you go, just know that there is no right answer, and there is certainly no pleasing everyone. 


Key Considerations:


There are a few things to think about when deciding whether or not to invite kids:


  • The formality and time of your wedding. A more formal evening wedding may not be ideal for little ones. A casual daytime wedding is often more kid-friendly.

  • Your budget. Inviting kids means you need to account for their meals and entertainment in your budget.

  • Your venue. Some venues don’t allow children or have strict age limits. Make sure you understand their policy before booking.

  • Providing entertainment. If you do invite kids, especially younger ones, consider providing activities to keep them engaged like a play area, games, or even a kids corner with toys, books, and crafts.

  • Specifying an age limit. You can invite kids but put an age restriction, like no kids under 5 or only kids over a certain age. This helps ensure only well-behaved kids attend.

  • Letting parents decide. You can invite kids but leave it up to the parents whether or not they want to bring them. Just be sure to specify the level of formality so they can make an informed choice.


The Case for an Adult-Only Affair


Opting for an adults-only wedding can turn the elegance up to eleven.Moreover, this preference for adults-only celebrations is gaining popularity, a trend likely fueled by the increasing pressures of parenting and childcare responsibilities. Parents today juggle so much, and an invitation to an adults-only event can be seen as a thoughtful acknowledgment of their hard work, offering them a well-deserved break. It's a chance for guests to step away from their parental roles for an evening and reconnect with friends, indulge in uninterrupted conversations, and celebrate love and companionship. This shift towards adults-only weddings isn't just about the preferences of the couple but also a nod to the complexities of modern parenting, recognizing the value of dedicated adult time in our busy lives.Plus, speeches and dance floor song choices can be a bit more, shall we say, colorful without little ears around.


"This shift towards adults-only weddings isn't just about the preferences of the couple but also a nod to the complexities of modern parenting, recognizing the value of dedicated adult time in our busy lives. Plus, speeches and dance floor song choices can be a bit more, shall we say, colorful without little ears around" 

When the Minis Are a Must


If your dream wedding definitely includes tots trotting down the aisle and busting moves on the dance floor, go for it. Just plan accordingly—think quiet corners for napping, kid-friendly food, and maybe a designated sitter or play area. It takes extra planning, but it can add a bundle of joy and energy to your celebration.

Your wedding is meant to be an enjoyable experience for you both. If not inviting kids or putting an age limit will minimize stress and allow you to have the wedding you really want, then that may be the right choice for you. But if kids are an important part of your lives and you want to find a way to include them, with the right planning you absolutely can have a kid-friendly wedding. The choice is yours!


Communicating About Children with Clarity & Compassion


Whether you’re going kid-free or all-in, make your stance clear early on to avoid any awkward conversations or assumptions. Most guests will appreciate the heads-up, allowing them to plan and ensuring everyone’s on the same page. Be sure you use all the tools in your arsenal to set yourself up for success. 


Be upfront about your decision; a simple note on the invite or website will do. “We love your little ones, but this party is an adults-only affair.”  If you are on the fence and not sure what to do here, stay tuned for our next blog that goes into detail on this very subject and how to communicate clearly and compassionately in order to minimize drama.


Also be sure to use invitation language with clarity in mind.For example, don’t send an invite to Mr. & Mrs. Jones, that’s intended for the whole Jones family, kids included. Likewise, don’t invite The Petersons if you are really only extending the invite for Mr.Jon Peterson & Mrs. Jane Peterson. Get my drift? We talk about how to use invitation lingo to your advantage a bit more below and in another blog article, so be sure not to miss it!

beautiful beach wedding with a gorgeous couple and surrounding family
The question of Kids or No Kids is one of the big questions you'll need to answer before sending a single invite

How to Collect Addresses and Get Proper Names For  Invitations


As you begin designing and ordering your wedding invitations, you'll need to gather the mailing addresses for all your guests. This is also the perfect time to double check that you have the proper names for your guest list to ensure everything is addressed correctly.


Create an Online Form

The easiest way to collect addresses from guests is to create an online form. You can use a free service like Google Forms, SurveyMonkey or RSVPify. Ask guests for their full name, mailing address, email and phone number. Be sure to specify if their invitation includes a plus one so you get that information too. You can also use a program like Zola which can text your guests and ask them for their address. Handy, right?


Reach Out Directly

For guests you don't have email addresses for or those less tech-savvy, reach out to them directly by phone or mail. Explain that you're gathering addresses for the wedding invitations and ask them to provide their full name and mailing address. Offer to add them to your online form or provide a pre-made form for them to fill out and return to you.


Check with Family

Don't forget to check with close family members to ensure you have the correct names and mailing addresses for all relatives being invited. There may be nicknames or name changes you're unaware of, especially for extended family. It's best to double check to avoid any incorrect names or addresses on invitations.


Follow Up

Once you've collected addresses through your online form and direct outreach, review your guest list to identify any missing information. Reach out again to those guests and follow up to get the necessary details. The sooner you get all your addresses in one place, the sooner you can order invitations and check that last important detail off your wedding to-do list!


Getting the proper names and mailing addresses for all your guests is crucial for ensuring your wedding invitations are addressed and sent correctly. With some advance planning and patience reaching out for details, you'll have a comprehensive guest address list to keep on hand for any wedding correspondence.


two beautiful brides dancing, beautiful black bride in jumpsuit, white bride in long flowy dress dancing at their small wedding.
Whether planning a micro wedding or mega celebration mastering your guests list is one of the first big tasks.

How to Handle Someone Who Thinks They'e Invited...But Isn't


It's bound to happen—someone assumes they're invited to your wedding but didn't actually make the cut for your guest list. This is an awkward situation, but the key is to handle it promptly and tactfully.


As soon as you realize the confusion, reach out to them directly via phone call or in person. Don't text or email about something this sensitive. Explain that while you value them, you had to make some really tough decisions to keep the guest list at a manageable number. Apologize for the misunderstanding and say you hope there are no hard feelings. If you're at a loss for words, we have a few responses that will serve you well:


Emphasize the Limitations and Your Regret:

"Given the constraints we're working with, including venue size and our budget, we've had to make some very difficult choices about our guest list. It truly wasn't easy, and it's important to me that you know this decision doesn't reflect the value we place on our relationship. I'm genuinely sorry for any disappointment this may cause, and I hope we can find another way to celebrate together soon."


Offer a Personal Explanation With a Future Gesture:

"Our wedding planning process led us to decide on a very small ceremony, much smaller than we initially imagined, focusing mainly on immediate family. It was a tough call to make, and I want you to know it wasn't taken lightly. Let's plan a dinner or a get-together soon—I'd love to celebrate our friendship and share our special moments with you in a more intimate setting."


Share Your Feelings and Extend an Olive Branch:

"I've been feeling really torn about our guest list decisions, and one of the hardest parts has been not being able to include everyone we care about, including you. It's a limitation we've struggled with, and I hope you can understand the position we've found ourselves in. While we can't change the situation for our wedding day, I'm hoping we can catch up and celebrate our milestones together in another way. Your friendship means a lot to me, and I'd like to make sure we find time to connect soon."


While you can't control their reaction, do your best to be empathetic. Let them share their disappointment, then reiterate how much you value them, despite them not making the final cut. Explain that you want to focus your special day on your nearest and dearest, but that doesn't diminish your relationship.

With open communication and understanding, you have the best chance of preserving the relationship despite this awkward situation. 




Beautiful wedding invite suite featuring french blue, rose gold, and a QR code for guests to use to RSVP.
From digital invites to QR code RSVPs. Use tech to help make your guest list planning and managing a snap!

Leveraging Tech to Keep Your Sanity


There are apps that can really help with guest list creation and management. Use them. Love them. They’re lifesavers for managing your list and your sanity. Because, let’s face it, a little digital magic can go a long way in keeping your guest list (and your head) from exploding. 


Digital Guest List Managers

There’s an app for that—actually, several. From tracking RSVPs to dietary preferences, these tools can be lifesavers. They make it easy to update your list, send out timely reminders, and even organize seating charts without wanting to elope instead. Google sheets is a no fail, no cost option for managing your guest list in the most basic sense.Our Ultimate, Deluxe and Pro Digital Planners can provide beautifully formatted guest list management for something a bit more comprehensive. For something that takes you all the way through the thank you card, you may want something more heavy duty like Zola or With Joy.


RSVPs Made Easy

The days of snail-mail RSVPs are fading fast, and we’re not sad about it. Online RSVPs are quicker, easier, and let’s face it, less likely to get lost in a pile of mail. They also make it super simple for you to track who’s in and who’s out, which is essential info for finalizing... well, everything. You can use google forms, or a fancier app like Zola or With Joy to get the job well done.




outdoor wedding setting up in a beautiful lush park
Public parks and other spaces may allow you the capacity you want on the budget you need.

Creative Ways to Include More Guests on a Tight Budget

When planning your dream wedding on a tight budget, the guest list can be one of the most challenging elements to navigate. You want to share your special day with as many loved ones as possible, but financial constraints can make this difficult. If it becomes impossible to whittle the guest list down enough, you may need to rethink the celebration and, you guessed it, your VBP.  But don’t get upset just yet. With a bit of creativity, there are ways to include more guests without breaking the bank.


  1. Consider a short cocktail reception in lieu of a full sit-down dinner. Serve appetizers, cocktails and desserts while guests mingle and celebrate. This allows for a larger guest list since seating and catering a multi-course meal for hundreds can be pricey. 

  2. Have a daytime wedding and reception. An earlier timeline means lower costs for catering, alcohol and rentals. Guests will also likely drink less during the day lowering the bar tab. Also consider off-peak or holiday dates that could save you thousands in venue and vendor costs.

  3. Consider having a smaller ceremony followed by a larger, very casual reception. This approach allows you to celebrate with everyone important to you. Think about hosting the reception in a budget-friendly venue like a community hall, park, or even a loved one's backyard.  

  4. Live Stream Your Ceremony. Technology offers a wonderful solution to budget constraints. Live streaming your ceremony ensures that all your friends and family, no matter where they are, can be part of your special moment. This can be especially meaningful for distant relatives or friends who might not be able to travel. Set up a private stream and invite guests to watch online. You can send separate invitations to a scaled back in-person reception for a select crew.

  5. Opt for a 'Cake and Punch' Reception -Traditionally, receptions are significant expenses due to catering and venue costs. An alternative is to host a "cake and punch" reception shortly after your ceremony. This type of reception is shorter and more casual, significantly reducing food and beverage costs. It allows you to celebrate with a broader circle of friends and family without the expense of a full meal.

  6. Utilize Public Spaces. Public parks, beaches, or gardens can be beautiful, low-cost options for your wedding ceremony or reception. Many public spaces require a small fee or permit for events but are significantly cheaper than traditional venues. This option can offer stunning natural backdrops for your celebration while accommodating a larger guest list. Just be sure to have a backup plan in case of bad weather


With some creative thinking, you absolutely can invite all the special people in your life to share in your wedding day. Focus on what really matters to you as a couple and don’t be afraid to do things a little differently. Your true friends and family will understand and support you fully.


a casual outdoor wedding with young friends
A large casual affair after the formal wedding is great way to incorporate larger groups of family or friends.


Alright, you’ve made it through the guest list gauntlet with your sanity (mostly) intact. Remember, this list isn’t just names on paper (or screen); it’s about people you want to share one of the most epic days of your life with. So take pride in your choices, stand by them, and get ready to party with your personally curated crowd.

Planning a wedding is no small feat, and you’re crushing it one step at a time. Keep that head held high, that humor handy, and that determination fierce. Because in the end, it’s not just about getting through your wedding day; it’s about making it unforgettable, for you and for everyone who made the cut.


Feel like you could use a little support? Need a sanity check or want to see what other's are doing with their guest list drama? Head over to our Facebook group, The I Do Club, to get your hands on all the planning goodies and chat with other couples who are riding the same rollercoaster ride.


Happy Planning,

Jillian



2 Magpies Creative Logo - #2forjoy


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